It's great to be busy. It's also great to have migraines, great to be stressed and great to have acid reflux. It's great to be in the J.D. Edwards program where you're constantly reminded that you aren't working hard enough, there are not enough hours in the day and you really aren't worth as much as they thought you were when you were accepted into the program.

Things are hectic. I've realized that although midterms came and went, more than half my grade, closer to two thirds, in most of my classes is still up in the air. I'm freaking out about grades and hoping I can pull something out of my ass this semester and somehow not end up with a C in my computer science class. We'll see how that goes. Keep your fingers crossed.

Then there's the soap opera called my social life. Everyone has advice and everyone has an opinion but no one has any definite answers. Things are just a mess overall and, right now, I'm taking time for me to figure things out.

It's a busy, busy, busy time for everything. I just hope I can keep up.

Is everything just black and white? Is that the kind of world we're living in? Is my choice between seeing black and white for the rest of my life and living where there is only happiness, no fear, no pain, and no love or color where there will be excruciating pain and immense joy? (The Giver) Is that really the question that lies before me? Is that really what I'm facing or are things just being blown out of proportion? Is the nail in the coffin or in my bleeding heart? Am I dead already or just well on my way? Does God really care? Does he really matter? Is everything a choice or is He really playing both sides of the chess board? "God is just a mean kid with a magnifying glass. And I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather tear of my feelers and watch me squirm."