Missing friends

It's been wonderful to be home and see my family, but after spending so much time with them and being home for over a week now, I miss my friends. I think of my friends as almost closer than family. Although, the concept of friends is an odd one. Anyone can be your friend if they want to, but they can also leave whenever they want and tell you that they don't want to talk to you. Friends are optional...family isn't. No matter what, you can't choose your family and they'll always be there for you no matter what happens. So, then how do we value our friends? I know that I'm closer to most of my friends than I am with my family. I trust my friends not to judge me and love me no matter what and when it comes to talking to my family about things, I'm terrified.

Raymond went back to Hawaii today. It was sad to say goodbye last night. We had a long talk again. It was good. I cried. I've been doing that a lot lately. Partially because of things that have happened that I'm ashamed of and partially because I'm so happy to be close to people who will love me in spite of all of it. It's going to be hard not to have him around to talk to. I know he's only a phone call away, but it's not the same. He also said that he's going to Afganistan. That idea scares me. I want to have faith that he'll be alright, but you never know what will happen...

Thanks to all my friends who have been asking questions lately. I appreciate even the hard questions that are still making me think. I know that things haven't been easy for all of you, but I thank you for having faith in me and being willing to ask the hard questions. Thinking is good, even when it hurts...especially when it hurts...

I miss you all! I can't wait to see you when break is over!