The crappiest of crap TV?

Bravo has been one of the kings of crap reality TV in my opinion. They keep making more and more crap reality shows. Specifically, reality contest shows. And I would pretty much watch them all...even some of the non-contest reality shows. But, I have finally drawn the line and found a reality contest show I can't stand to watch on Bravo, which is quite a feat for me. I've watched everything from Project Runway to Make Me a Supermodel. The shows are generally pretty formulaic in the way they're presented. There are typically around 10 contestants for each show. They bring in "industry experts" to be the judges and then they have a mini-challenge early in each episode followed by an "elimination challenge" at the end of the episode. The judges say what they think about the results and one person is eliminated till someone wins. Anyway, I watch a lot of these crap shows. And trust me, I know they're crap. Most days I don't want to have to think or actually pay attention to the TV while it's on, I just like the noise and it's pretty easy to keep track of what's going on when they're playing in the other room or across the room while I'm cooking or something. Anyway, on to the list of reality contest shows I've actually watched on Bravo:

• Top Chef: This one's a classic. Probably the one that started the rest (besides Project Runway). It is actually interesting to see what the chefs come up with each week. The drama gets annoying sometimes. All I really care about is the ingredients, how it looks and how it tasted. Then I get to wish I could cook something like it.


• Project Runway: Another classic. Designers make all sorts of weird clothing for various occasions and various people ranging from prom dresses, WWF women's outfits, men's suits, etc. It's always a good time to make fun of the weird stuff people like to pretend are clothes coming down the runway.


• Shear Genius: Modeled after the first two. They gathered a bunch of hair stylists and made them cut hair! Novel idea.


• Top Design: Again, modeled after the first two. A bunch of interior designers have to design various rooms/spaces.


• Make Me a Supermodel: sort of a cross between Top Chef and Tyra Banks' 'America's Next Top Model'. There's guys and girls all living in the same house. Guess what, they all want to be models!

One of the similarities between all the shows is that there's always one judge that you wonder why they're on the panel because they haven't actually worked in the industry, they just judge the industry. The shows also have the habit of replaying the same theme music over and over again.

I've also been known to watch some random reality shows on Bravo as well like Tim Gunn's guide to style. You know, those style shows are kind of mean. Essentially your friends think you dress so crappy they have to contact a TV network to do something about it and then they show up and tell you how crappy your clothes are, make you throw them all away and spend way too much money on new clothes and you end up with 1/2 as many clothes as you started with. I'm not sure I'd necessarily view that as a good thing. Anyway, I also watch (and by "watch" I mean not change the channel and tune out about 70% of the show like the rest of anything else on Bravo) Workout and pretend it's helping me exercise. It hasn't worked yet, but I have hope that someday it will.

Anyway, as I was saying, I "watch" a LOT of crap TV on Bravo, but I've finally found a show I can't leave on the TV for more than 30 seconds without having that feeling that someone has just scraped their nails on a chalkboard. That show would be "Step It Up and Dance" with Elizabeth Berkely. I can go on about reasons why I can't stand the show, but I'd almost suggest you flip past it yourself. Maybe even see how long you can stand to leave it on the channel. I can't stand those "Real Housewive's" shows, but I can last longer on those than I can if "Step It Up and Dance" is on.

Anyway, if you want crap TV you don't have to, or don't want to pay attention to, generally Bravo's not a horrible choice. I wouldn't suggest trying to devote your full attention to most, if not all the shows on Bravo though. But they are generally good filler/background noise. Except "Step It Up and Dance".